The Next Project

In India, some elders have completely blurred the lines of personal space and pry into the most intimate details of your life. A peep into my records of this horrifying experience tell us that each Indian is blessed (or cursed – to each his own) with an Aunt (most of these perpetrators  are women) who can talk to you (very loudly & in public) about things you never wish to discuss – menstruation, sex, childbirth, your relation with your spouse etc.

They believe that in doing so, they are supporting the well-being of our family. Many many episodes of how an old aunty will unabashedly ask bachelors to get married is afloat in the internet. However, our loud, embarrassing and most often private conversations that happen in public don’t end here.

Many go as far as asking newly-wed couples if they are happy with their spouse. Wink Wink Nudge Nudge (– indicating your sex life). As you smile coyly while trying to run from the room, they bombard you with questions like “when is the baby coming? We are bored you know. You ought to keep us occupied, give us a baby and you go on to making the next one” You got to be kidding me. Are having sex and procreating your race the only purpose to life? If yes, how are we any different from monkeys and donkeys? And the embarrassment doesn’t stop here. They go on and on about the importance of having children.

Blop, you have one kid. Are your noisy aunts occupied (as they put it)? Nope, they disappear, leaving you to fend for the baby and yourself when they are busy embarrassing the next couple. Finally happy that your sweet aunt has disappeared, you go on to live the dammed life of a mother, cooking, cleaning, cleaning, screaming, feeding, cleaning, cleaning, screaming, feeding, cooking and falling down with exhaustion.

After about a year, you hear from your Aunt, “Hello dear” she say. Excited that there is nothing more she can embarrass you about, you want to share your story of how motherhood has matured you. But before you begin, she says “ I know the little one is almost two, when are you starting your next project?”

Exasperated! you start choking at the thought of all that you did the last two years. Then, smile, cut the call without comments and call your spouse. “Come take over baby care for the day.! its my day off.!

Lesson 101: Nosy aunts will continue to be so forever. Your space and time is yours alone.

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