In general, I am considered a friendly person – men & women alike. I don’t hold long-term grudges, nor did I have Li-Lo (ref Mean Girls movie) experience in life. Now however, a slow snarling growl arises in my lower abdomen, when a certain women talks about certain someone and how I raise my darling munchkin. I used to shared a good, social rapport with my mother-in-law before my hubby and I were married. We were social for a few years after even. Something changed and I wonder what.
My Eureka moment came one morning, as I was juggling between a I-Don’t-wanna-go-to-school pogo and I-am-going-to-burn dishes on the stove and a please-server-me-here mother and a sleeping husband (Yup at 8:00 am on MONDAY morning, my darling husband was snoring his day away..!). I was dressed in rags, hair sticking in angles that would challenge Einstein’s signature cut, late to office, profusely sweating and ANGRY.
EUREKA. EUREKA. I then realized that I was never angry with my mother-in-law. In many ways, I respect her and her achievements. What and who I am angry with is her creation. The creation that had put me in this mess and was currently snoring.
Once married, you vow to share the good and bad. However, many a times the equation is imbalanced, yet somehow, the final act seems balanced. That is what makes marriages beautiful. Parenting, well parenthood is a whole new story.
Parenting is about a mother (whose glorified tales we have all heard, and is still under-rated) and a father (whose glorified tales are filled with epic moments of lifting a finger, well, maybe) who raise a kid (who is ever confused about whether s/he should be grateful or loving or ignorant).
As I packed a screaming, tantrum-throwing pogo to school, asked my mother to occupy herself and woke GK from his “Oh-so-sweet” slumber. I sat down to have “the talk” for the n-th time in life, hoping for a miracle.
This is when the growing snarl came back. He was brought up to be knuckle-headed about parenting and it was her fault. As I patiently (He didn’t know what hit him..!) explained to GK the importance of participative parenting (sound effects – bam-boom-dishoom!), I hoped for a better day.
Well, we believe in once bitten twice shy and let hope tomorrow is more participative. Else I would have to have the “talk” again. (shopping list: pair of boxing gloves).
Lesson 101: When Gandhi’s wisdom fails to help, we may always turn to Fidel Castro – especially when handling your mother-in-law’s precious apple.