Catch 22

Your baby is your bundle of joy, your little angel and the center of your world. But he is not the same for others. As a working mother with limited support for child care, I had opted to place Pogo under day care for the past one year.

Unfortunately, the play school we chose did not handle Pogo well and Pogo has speech delay, has become more adamant, irritable and hits at the slightest provocation. All I am left to do is wonder how we ended up here.

One of the many reasons I re-joined work is for Pogo to feel proud of me, to understand that I didn’t stop my life to be with him; but made most of what I had to give him the very best. (Read here)

Pogo means the world to me. I listed all the schools in the neighborhood, assessed their facilities personally. Shortlisted a few, took my husband to a few and then zeroed in on this fateful school. Yet, we failed. In the important milestone of his life, Pogo has stepped back.

As a mother, the guilt is killing me. My choices have created a setback for my little munchkin and its more that I can handle. Do I blame the society that failed to provide the support one needs to raise the next generation, Do I blame the school that failed to live up to its promise of nurturing my child – home away from home, Do I blame myself for choosing to follow my dreams and not sit back and wander my fruitful years away?

Women in general fail to have a successful career after motherhood. We may blame the societal double-standards for this. But on the other hand, when I see my son, his struggle in the last one year; all the new age feministic ideologies ran down the drain. I know I am capable and so do those I have worked with. I have nothing to prove to anyone and yet, the thought of not going back to office, not working looks me in the eye trying me, challenging me, – laughing at me.

In all, I have come to the conclusion that some factors are more significant than others and my life would be dictated by Pogo. After all, it’s all for love.

Parenting 101: Parenting I have learnt is about making mistakes, acknowledging them, picking yourself up and once again doing what’s best for your little angel.

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